I have an incredible fear of disappointing people – of letting anyone down. And this can lead me to work myself to the point of exhaustion and still feel guilty for not doing enough. But, sorry folks, today I’m taking a Bri day. Well, actually a Bri and her dad day!
Things have been really frustrating in my PhD path recently, feeling like I’m working super hard yet going nowhere due to things out of my control. And it’s been hard not to despair… BUT I’m getting to see and spend time with my dad for the first time in 16 months! So I’m trying to make the most of it. Which means giving my whole self to enjoying every moment of it and not trying to worry about posting something all science-y and interesting.
Not that the day was completely without science-ing, however. Pre-pandemic my dad got me a gift certificate to a local bookstore, with a note that it was for an afternoon of shopping together. Then pandemic… But on Friday we got to go to the bookstore! And I got some awesome science books. I’m starting with “Napolean’s Buttons: How 17 molecules changed history” by Burreson and Penny Le Couteur. It’s a really great read about how molecules like spices, sugars, rubbers, nylon, etc. interplay with history. And it has a lot of really cool facts. Like I had no idea that most vertebrates can make vitamin C from glucose – so apparently you don’t need to worry about your puppy getting Scurvy!
I got about 100 pages read this morning before my dad woke up (I get up at 4 – he doesn’t…). Then I dragged him on a beautiful (but more than he likely bargained for) hike. I’m writing this while he’s napping (jetlag) and then we’re gonna play with LEGOs. And maybe a bit more frisbee, although my arm’s kinda sore from yesterday. I only have a couple more days with him so I hope you’ll understand if I can’t meet demand :).
I hope this message can help someone else who’s always feeling guilty about not working enough. Take time for the things – and the people – that matter most. And take care of yourself because working yourself to burnout isn’t fun or efficient in the long run.
P.S. we did end up playing frisbee. And there was a really cute dog. And I worked up the courage to ask if I could pet her. And I got to pet a dog for the first time in like a year and a half and it was AMAZING. Forget prestigious prizes, of my life goals is seriously to have a dog